In the never-ending quest to know what’s next I try to wait patiently for the Lord’s cue. I watch, with great attentiveness, for Him to show me – something – to give me a hint. Is the struggle worth it, will all of the pain pay off? But after several decades of toe-tapping, finger drumming, all-out-body-straining effort, I’m not very good at pushing pause, taking it easy, and waiting. In fact, most of the time I feel like a racehorse caged in a metal box itching to get on the track and GO. I have a vision, from Him (for heaven’s sake), and I want to go after it! He restrains me. He asks me to sit tight, to abide, to trust.
“If the circumstances of life do not satisfy the present desires of my heart, I’m not going to suppress those desires, but I’m not going to surrender to them, either. I know that they will only be satisfied, eventually, in the Father. I will trust and obey him, put myself in his hands, and go forward” (Kings Cross, Tim Keller, page 181).
Hmm. Being satisfied in the Father, not in accomplishing the vision or the goal. Love Him for who He is. Trust Him because He is worthy. Put yourself in His hands and go forward…or wait.
It’s a clue. He wants me to learn to love Him.
This all reminds me of what Peter said in his first letter, “So be truly glad.There is wonderful joy ahead, even though you have to endure many trials for a little while. These trials will show that your faith is genuine. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold—though your faith is far more precious than mere gold.
So when your faith remains strong through many trials, it will bring you much praise and glory and honor on the day when Jesus Christ is revealed to the whole world.
You love him even though you have never seen him. Though you do not see him now, you trust him; and you rejoice with a glorious, inexpressible joy. The reward for trusting him will be the salvation of your souls.”
There it is again, a little bit of now and a healthy dose of the not yet.